I don't know how I came to make that mistake but, then again, I have been making lots of mistakes like this for a long time now.
I feel that I'm getting confused a lot about a lot of things and my mind is blank a lot too. It makes me feel so useless and out of it. I think I should be telling my GP about this.
I sometimes think maybe its because I'm being manipulated and patronised a lot of the time by close family members. I suppose that could bring a person down and made to feel worthless and clueless when told I am dumb and an idiot and don't have a mind of my own and, everything that I do or say is wrong. I think that could be mental cruelty.
I sometimes feel that I want to curl up and hope the world would end right here and now just so it would all go away. I feel so down, distant within in myself right now. I feel so ill at times.like I do today and have felt worse before now too!
All I seem to do is cook dinner which I might add makes me feel so tired and fatigued that it hurts, fatigue and physical and the same as when I do light chores. I can't do cooking and chores the same day, I only do one or the other as I hurt too much. I always have to rest on my bed for a while until the awful feeling subsides, some days the feelings seem to last all day. I do these things everyday. I don't want to lay around and do absolutely nothing, I would cease up altogether.Sometimes, I have to rest before I eat my dinner and wash-up.
I seem to spend most of my time in my bedroom while the person in question watches the horse racing in the lounge afternoons. I really can't stand being in the same room as this person, I spend as little time with this person as I possibly can. I just wish this person would go away and leave me a lone but, this person is very controlling. I don't know what to do about it. I hate this person's manipulating, patronising ways. This person is so over powering. And, this person knows I am weak!
No comments:
Post a Comment